Confessions of a Zulu Atheist
Picture a 4 year old boy, on his knees. A 40 year old man, on his feet before him. The man's right hand is on the boy's head, shaking violently in religious fervour. Amongst the ubiquitous noise of praying and praising, the boy asks himself silently; "Why?"
From then on, I could not stop asking questions, especially on matters of faith and religion. As mind and experiences grew, so did my questions. I have spent my life reading and seeking answers and these answers (and even the questions, led me to a life choice known popularly as Atheism.
By 18 years of age I had become wary of using the word "soul" because, all in all, it seemed that this noun was a misnomer of being.
I read things. Marx, Liebniz, Kant, Rushdie, Delillo, Socrates. They all had views on what life was. The information piled up and very few of their answers seemed convincing.
But Nietzsche stuck to mind. He wanted man to make himself. His atheism was one of nihilistic destruction of all previous ideas. I was sold on the idea that man was a bridge and we were crossing from religious belief into something more. We would live with our own inactions and victories. We would be responsible for our own growth and elevation. According to Nietzsche, God was dead and good riddance.
But Atheism comes with responsibility. It is a binding contract to not hold to fairy tales and myth but to be your own. I am an Atheist because no religion has the answers. No religion has the tools necessary to answer the questions of life in the known universe. I am not only an Atheist, but a monist. As far as I am concerned, souls are as existent as a personal God i.e. not.
I feel better for my position. I am now autonomous. This is my stance and it serves a purpose no religion could fulfil. A tribe of Jews, appropriating an old saviour myth to suit their own personal needs, cannot serve my ends.
Islam, Mormonism, Scientology, Hinduism and other dualistic systems fail us all but there is too much fear in the world. Prayers seem necessary, in a world so trying. We are not at peace. As far as history is concerned, these religions preaching love and peace have not brought it about. The human race is too busy looking up, or looking for a part of us that isn't even there and we miss the point. All we have is this world.
Atheism does not mean immorality. If anything, it means a higher morality because one is wholly responsible, not Shaitan or some inherent sin in us all. I do not believe we are born tainted. I commend myself, for what others think an unpardonable sin, for now, even though I may not have the answers, I see clearer than before. The shadow of faith is lifted. I am an Atheist and I am valid.
